she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize