he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize