im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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