at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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