so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
