she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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