Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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