I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
