if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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