i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You can't motorboat a personality
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
