I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i've created a new STD.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
