Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
