I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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