Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
