u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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