just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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