Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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