I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
