are you still at the devil's house?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
