dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
