You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
