on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
