Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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