Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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