I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I could make wine with my vomit
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
