She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
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