How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We have started to decorate penises.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
