We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
