can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
