Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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