i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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