Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
