I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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