So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
