jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I woke up under a house in Key West
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