I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he shaved USA in his pubs
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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