The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
