I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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