Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
