That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
