so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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