my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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