Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
