I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
