I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
