Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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