the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize