its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
