Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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