I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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