its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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