New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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