I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
