i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
