I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
