mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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