their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
