i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
