Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize