I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm sobbing to NWA
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
