I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
