FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
