dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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